"Marry women of your choice two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able
to deal justly (with them) then only one or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That
will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice" (Qur’aan 4:3)
Introduction:
Polygamy is the state of having more than one spouse.
Polygyny is a male having more than one wife.
There are different ways to please Allaah, each one of us chooses his or her own
options. Some people think they are reviving a Sunnah while promoting polygyny,
acquiring more hasaanat (good deeds) in this life in preparation for the Hereafter.
There are many reasons why a person chooses polygyny: extended family,
increase in faith, companionship, security, pleasure, charity, increase in wisdom and self-worth,
increase in quality of life when a wife cannot complete the needs of her husband.
There are different problems linked to polygyny: less time to enjoy one’s spouse,
personal sacrifices, the man may lack of fairness and financial means, jealousy of the co-wives,
judgments coming from the neighborhood, legally forbidden by the local laws.
There are many reasons why a person chooses polygyny. Some men and women
encourage it because it helps them grow as a person and in their faith or they believe in
helping single or widowed women; some learn to accept it as it is imposed on them and
work it out into their lives.
Whatever it is, nobody can force a Muslim to stay in an unhappy relationship and nobody
can deny a woman her right to divorce her husband if she finds the situation
unacceptable.
Polygyny is about getting families together. Most of the time, it is not an issue of
overlording and women serving men, but it is an issue of love and sharing in a close
knitted community. This arrangement is especially beneficial in Western countries where
it is hard to make Muslim friends or create a truly Islamic community.
However, polygyny nowadays is not the norm and many men prefer and are
contented with only one wife and the women are able to make their husbands happy on
their own since he is their Paradise or Hell.
Whether each individual’s choice pleases Allaah or not in both cases (monogamy or
polygamy), it is question of people’s true intentions and desire to make things work in
total honesty and faith. Whether polygyny or monogamy is a happy arrangement or not
depends on the efforts, patience and degree of faith of each party involved. Nobody
should be criticized for his or her choices, whatever they are. Nobody should make a
Muslim feel guilty for disliking polygamy for himself/herself or for liking it for
himself/herself; this is against the precepts of Islam. There is no compulsion in religion
and Allaah knows best whatever each one of us conceals in his own heart.
Also, a Muslim should never discourage polygamy on the basis that he or she
dislikes it for himself or for herself, but the Muslim community should be supportive of
his brothers and sisters who have chosen it willingly.
Polygamy is lawful in Islam for those who can afford it. It is permissible, not wajib
(encouraged or obligatory)!
There is no unique (monogamous) road to happiness and completion of our deen; each
one of us must choose his or her own jihad in life freely.
Remember that "the believers, men and women, are Awliya’ (helpers, supporters,
friends, protectors) of one another" (Al-Tawbah, 9:71) and NOT enemies.
continu.................
